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kate

May 2011

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esther

In search of some rest, in search of a break

From a life of tests where something's always at stake

I found the bike path and for some reason it feels now that everything is in place. I live near the Yarra, near a bike path, I am single and I *can* go to work everyday and work in the same room as my ex-partner-of-five-years and the bitch he cheated on me with. I can because I am strong and I am better and if I can get through this I can get through anything.

Apart from the everyday emotional craziness of work that occasionally leads me to smoke, work is as boring as can be. I was sent home early, and found the bike path and rode home in the sun enjoying it as much as I always used to enjoy riding my bike places. Why did I stop? Oh yeah, I moved out to the sticks with Mr Arsehole and abandoned everything I liked for his sake. Living so close to everything is so lovely, and being on a super-nice tree-lined street, with the Yarra at one end and a park at the other means I don't mind the lack-of-country, cos it's picturesque enough here anyway.

So I can be alone, and I don't mind. Dogs occasionally make me cry, and for some reason so does the gym (yay! Back into the gym! I will be fit and slim and ready-for-someone-new-and-better!), dunno if it's the adrenaline breaking down my composure or what, but I manage to not sob whilst lifting weights or sniffle while doing step, so I get by.

All in all, life is good, life is better than it's been for *years*

I think about time for fun, I think about time for play
Then I think about being done, with no resume
With no one left to blame
What about fortune and fame?
What about your love to obtain?
What about the ring?
What about--

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